There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
God, I missed his penis.
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