We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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