I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
