i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
