Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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