Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
