The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
