I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
