WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
