lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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