I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
