i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
