my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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