Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
