so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i barfeds in our rink
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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