at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
