Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
did i just pee glitter
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
