Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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