all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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