and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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