I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
