He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
