Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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