Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bring money and cleavage
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
