You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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