Buhtt sex?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
