It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
