What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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