the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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