i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
