i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
