Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
