i think my mom watched the whole time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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