We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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