tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
