i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
