i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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