What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
