I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He better not be in your backpack
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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