His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
