dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize