Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
