Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize