you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm passing your future prison.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
