Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
