did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They have beer where we have blood.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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