well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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