This is not my ceiling
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
