bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
