As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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