I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
