At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
