When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
