Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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