you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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