No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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