Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Randomize
