We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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