The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
