I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
