WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
